Traditionally, it was the norm for men to pay for dinners with the women they were interested in. As gender roles changed, confusion over who is responsible for paying on a first date between a man and a woman arose, causing conflict between potential lovers. .
A man discovered firsthand that when it comes to showing a woman you’re interested, you can never make assumptions.
In a since-deleted Reddit post, the man shared that he recently met a young woman on Tinder and “swiped right” to let her know he was interested.
She apparently did the same and before he knew it, they were having their first date. As the woman did not know where to go, he sent a menu from a familiar restaurant and she confirmed that she was interested.
According to him, their first date went off without a hitch…until the bill came.
Although they didn’t discuss it before the date, he thought they would split the bill, but she felt like he would pay for the date.
The man admitted he had been the one to suggest the restaurant and knew it was expensive, but he believed his Tinder match would have let him know in advance if he was out of his range of price.
The Redditor asked him how they were going to split the check once it arrived. She told him that she lived with her parents and earned minimum wage, so she could not afford the expensive meal. Although annoyed, he continued to pay the entire bill.
Later that evening, the woman reached out to scold him for embarrassing her at the restaurant.
In response, the man apologized but told her she shouldn’t expect anyone to pay for a meal she had chosen to order but didn’t have. money to cover. This statement prompted the humiliated woman to block him, ending any possibility of a second date.
Since the disastrous date, curator Casanova has reached out to his fellow Redditors to ask if he mishandled the situation and shouldn’t even have asked the woman to help pay for the meal.
Although the original post has been deleted, commenters believe this is clearly a case of miscommunication.
The first person wrote, “ESH just because you both made assumptions. You shouldn’t assume you would split the bill. She shouldn’t have assumed you would pay. I speak as a woman here, if I ask someone on a date, I assume I pay for everything. For a first date I would just go somewhere cheap.
According to label queen Emily Post, the woman is right. On a first date, the person who asked must pay unless both parties have agreed otherwise beforehand.
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NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. It covers lifestyle, entertainment and news, as well as workplace navigation and social issues.